How to Have a Meaningful Connection in Your Marriage and Family

We love because God first loved us. 1 John 4:19

Relationships are meant to be a reflection of our relationship with Christ. Therefore, we do not have to look any further than to Jesus as the source and guide for all our relationships.

God has a pattern for learning relationships. You primarily learn them, healthy or otherwise, in your family of origin.

So, here’s a question - -

How did your family do growing up? What grade would you give the family you grew up in?

The family cycle starts over with each of us, from singleness to marriage to parenting. Without reflection, intentionality, and attentiveness to the scripture, we are likely to replicate the same relationship mistakes our families made when we were growing up. But with Jesus, we can avoid making the mistakes our family made, and with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can be empowered to be better than our family origin!

As we study scripture, we find relationship truths that we can learn from the time we are single to the time we have children of our own. These truths, if applied, can change our relationships forever!

- SINGLES -

The question that is asked most often by young adults is, “Does God have someone picked out from me to marry, and if so, how do I know?”

Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

If you are ignorant of God's word, you will be ignorant of God’s will.

In this season of your life, the most important thing you can do is pray. It’s never too early to pray for your future spouse. God will direct your paths if you put Him first.

A good life filled with satisfying relationships starts with putting God first and surrendering your life to Him. Then, let the scriptures guide your relationships and wait for love.

- MARRIAGE -

Marriage is the toughest and the best thing you could ever do. But, it has a way of maturing us. The goal of marriage is intimacy with God and your spouse. A sign that we are maturing as a Christian couple is when our spouse’s needs and interests become as important as our own needs and interests.

Husbands, likewise, dwell with understanding, giving honor to the wife. 1 Peter 3:7a

We must become students of our spouse. Your partner will feel deeply valued when you show empathy towards them. Empathy is what can move marriage from low satisfaction to high satisfaction. You must live with understanding and become an exquisite listener.

Our goal as spouses should not be to see through each other but to see each other through.

- FAMILY -

We cannot do family well unless we allow the scripture to guide us. Unfortunately, because of sin, all families deal with some level of dysfunction.

God is on a mission through Jesus to invite all of our family into the forever family of God. It is never too late to decide to be the one to pick up the torch and draw God's blessings into your marriage and family. Become the person that sets the tone of your family’s culture.

No matter what stage of life you are in, God desires for us to have meaningful connections with others. So, if you feel like you are struggling in your relationships, I invite you to watch this message by Dr. Terry & Cinda Swan, out of our Meaningful Connections series.

WATCH IT | DISCUSSION GUIDE| MESSAGE NOTES

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Four Things You Must Do If You Want God In It

We can all agree; we want God to be in all areas of our lives!

From our marriages and relationships to our businesses and careers, we want GOD IN IT. But how do we know if God is fully involved and engaged in our lives? Have you ever asked yourself specifically about a situation, struggle, or even an ambitious plan, Is God in it?

Here are a few points drawn from the Gospel’s biographical sketches of one of the key moments in Jesus’ life and ministry, the feeding of the 5,000. I believe what we glean can be applied to our lives to help us know with certainty of any area of our lives, it’s got GOD IN IT:

1. Don’t ignore the NEED or the PROBLEM. Every miracle starts with a problem. The first step to getting God involved is taking time to acknowledge and identify the need or problem you are facing. You have not because you ask not. God already knows your need and problem, but He is waiting for you to bring them before Him. Stop complaining about the problem and start giving it to God.

Then Jesus lifted up His eyes and seeing a great multitude coming toward Him, He said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread that these may eat?” But this He said to test him, for He Himself knew what He would do. -John 6:5-6 (NKJV)

2. ACCEPT help. More often than not, God will use other people as a part of any miracle in your life. Resisting help from others can abort your miracle in its infancy. Unfortunately, pride can frequently not only stand in our way of asking for help, but it can also stop us from accepting help when it is offered. Pride can be the sin standing in your way of seeing God move in your life. And, don’t forget, sometimes the help will show up in an unlikely package, like a boy holding a sack lunch. So... Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and always accept what God is making available.

“There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two small fish, but what are they among so many?” -John 6:9 (John 6:9 (NKJV)

3. Be willing to start in LACK. Repeatedly in Scripture, we see that miracles start in lack, not abundance. You may not feel like you can do what God asks you to do, BUT God can work through our lack and make it abundant. Being willing to start in lack is a test of your faith, obedience, and trust in God. When God is in it, little is much.

“There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two small fish, but what are they among so many?” -John 6:9 (John 6:9 (NKJV)

4. Get outside of YOUR CIRCLE. Because we enjoy comfort zones, it is very easy to get stuck in one circle or group. The crowd was broken into seated groups of 100’s and 50’s. No doubt, the rows of people turned into circles. It is likely, each group contained people that were familiar with each other. When the disciples started distributing handfuls of bread and fish, they were battling uncertainty of how the miracle would unfold. In such a situation, it is human nature to gravitate to a group with familiar people. Doing the math, we can calculate that each disciple would have been assigned to serve five to ten groups. But, the only way the miracle kept happening was if they kept moving, pollinating new circles with the miraculous! This example teaches us, don’t get stuck in a circle or comfort zone when you’re experiencing a miracle of ‘not-enough’ turned into ‘more-than-enough.’ Keep moving! God may be calling you outside of your comfort zone, outside of your immediate circle, so that He can use you to serve multiple people in many different circles. Don’t limit your reach. Don’t get stuck in a clique. Get outside of your ‘four and no more’ mentality and let God keep working through you.

Then He commanded them to make them all sit down in groups on the green grass. So they sat down in groups, in hundreds and in fifties. -Mark 6:39-40 (NKJV)

There will be times in your relationship with God that He asks you questions for which He already knows the answers.

Jesus knew what He wanted to do before the disciples even brought Him the five loaves and two fish. He took the bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it back to the disciples. The bread most likely tasted the same, smelled the same, and even looked the same. But it was the PROCESS of the taking, breaking, blessing, and giving it back that changed everything.

In your relationship with God, you will repeatedly have to submit to the same process.

Taken. Blessed. Broken. Given

Can you think of a time in your life when you have been taken, blessed, or broken? In this season, your life probably looked the same to the outside eye, with the exception that from a spiritual standpoint, you had been through the process: taken, blessed, broken, and given. The five loaves and two fish were not enough UNTIL they had been through the process. But out of this process, miracles happened, and blessings ran over.

Jesus Himself was taken from heaven, blessed with an incredible ministry, and His body broken on the cross. He went through this process so He could be given to us! He wanted to be in every area of your life!

He wanted to be God in it.

There is so much more included in this message when engaged in its entirety, and I hope you will give it a listen. You can view this message here: https://youtu.be/O9hd198smOQ

WATCH IT | DISCUSSION GUIDE | MESSAGE NOTES

God Is...LOVE

Beloved, let us love one another for love is of God and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God for God is love. -1 John 4:7-8 NKJV

Are you becoming a more loving person? If not, you may be missing the most important part of being a Christian, because God is love we must love abundantly too. We are to love God with our whole heart, mind, and soul, because if we do not, Satan can steal our hearts away from the love of God.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him. - 1 John 2:15

John warns us not to be in love with the things of this world but love God. How much space is God occupying in your heart compared to other things?

Nothing is better for a man that he should eat and drink and that his soul should enjoy good in his labor. This also I saw was from the hand of God.

-Ecclesiastes 2:24.

Do a full evaluation of what you love, is it your car, your house, your boat, a particular person, your family, your garden, sports, a job, music, money, sex, or status. Remember where your treasure is, so is your heart. We live in a beautiful world, and we are to enjoy these beautiful things and enjoy our lives, but we must be careful not to let these beautiful things replace God in our lives or become our idols.

The love of God will change you...it will change your identity. We live in a world where many people are going through an identity crisis. They no longer know who they are, and it is creating a regression in our nation through division, anger, hatred, separation, tribalism, blaming, and victimization. So many people feel good and behave badly because they have not accepted the love of God in their lives. They do not know they are children of God, extravagantly and abundantly loved. Being a Child of God is the only identity that matters because every other identity will pass away.

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us that we should be called the children of God. -1 John 3:1

God’s love is given lavishly to His children. We will never truly be able to understand the depth of God’s love, and nothing can separate us from the love of God. We are children of God not because we love Him, but because He loves us. God does not want anyone to perish eternally but desires every one of us to have a born-again experience.

By this, we know love because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay our lives down for our brothers. - 1 John 3:16

Godly love equals obedience. Love is not a feeling, it is an act of will. Love obeyed must be displayed. We are meant to be ambassadors of God. We show our love to God by our actions, practices, giving, keeping God's commandments, and loving others! You can express the love of God right where you are. It starts right within our homes, our neighborhoods, places of employment, and local churches.

For this is the love of God that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.-1 John 5:3

Because God loves us we must love others. If you are feeling like you have been struggling with loving God or loving others lately I invite you to watch this message by Dr. Terry Swan, Cross Training, out of our God Is… series. It will transform the way you think about God’s love.

“Love is more caught than it is taught.”

- Dr. Terry Swan

I invite you to view this message from Dr Terry Swan, God Is...LOVE, in its entirety at this link: https://youtu.be/I6I9cB90Fng

WATCH IT | DISCUSSION GUIDE | MESSAGE NOTES